untittled.

 

2021. 

 

and i am still alive.

but fragile.

 

so many things happened to me so far, yet i am still here. updating my blog.

 

this past few years, pandemic just hits the world. many things were affected. physically, emotionally and not less than that, economy. but i am still grateful. i still have the jobs, got food to eat. i still got my friends. but why i am still feel lonely? it`s just too private to state here. 

i believe that everyone has their own struggle, including me. 

 

i have to admit that i have to struggle everyday. i don't feel like i am good enough. to someone, to everybody. i feel like i am a burdened to everyone. lingering around with my unsettled feeling. i have to keep avoiding my love ones. i don't want them to keep getting hurt with my behavior. i am not ready to face everyone. i come to work with my unstable feeling. keep crying everyday. it's suffocated. 

 

 that is me, everyday. 

 

did anyone understand my feeling?

 

i don't think so. they will think that i am crazy and need to seek for help. i don't want all that. i just need someone to understand me. i am traumatized with losing someone that i love, including my mom.